Hmmm... bacon

This is possibly THE most addicing thing ever... no San Diego.. but LA can be second best.

MMMMM... I LOVE This Yellow Snow!

I thought it would be a lot of fun to kind of keep track of my daily goings on in Salt Lake. I didn’t do a good job for Monday and Tuesday, so I’ll start today! I came to Salt Lake for a training class with work. At first I wasn’t too excited, but also didn’t know what to expect. I arrived on Sunday afternoon and as soon as I saw the mountains I was absolutely amazed, the airport didn’t neat any beautiful fountains or decorations, they just simply needed windows nature was way more beautiful than anything man-made. I picked up my rental car and after talking to the rental guy for a little while he was super cool and gave me a full size car because there weren’t any cars the size that I requested in the area and he didn’t want me to wait. As soon as I left the rental place I made my way to my hotel and was pleasantly surprised with a fantastic view of the mountains. I wasn’t in my hotel room for any longer than I could put my suitcase down and I was out the door. I drove up hwy 80 and drove in to a snow covered canyon until I nearly thought I was lost. I made my way back and found out I was in a place called lambs canyon which was absolutely gorgeous.

Monday was the first day of class, it was very interesting we did a lot of programming on the phone itself (or keyset as the tech people call it). After class I went straight to cottonwood canyon and drove until I couldn’t drive any more, I was hoping to circle around in to park city, but later found that the roads were snowed out. I made my way back down the mountain stopping at a mountain called Storm Mountain. This mountain was made out of mud from an ancient sea slowly churned up over eons. The mountain shot straight up over 2000 ft. which was just absolutely stunning. I was somewhat bummed that no matter how many pictures I took of it I couldn’t even begin to display the sheer magnitude of the mountain. After making my way down the mountain I decided to go south to an outdoor store called Cabela’s. The store was absolutely enormous and was full of animal displays, aquariums, and even a restaurant. The restaurant served all kinds of random meats so I thought I would be adventurous and try a moose sandwich. The moose meat was a bit of a letdown although I don’t know what I was expecting, I mean if it really tasted amazing it would be available everywhere. I came home and quickly fell asleep.

Tuesday I woke up and went to my class. I must admit I was a bit more excited for class to be over so I could explore more. After class I decided that, being the urbanite I am, I should check out downtown Salt Lake City. I hopped in my car to head to the train station and was promptly flagged down by someone who informed me that my rear tire was extremely low. What a freakin bummer! I made my way to a gas station to fill it up when I realized “hey this isn’t my car I shouldn’t have to do anything!” So I called enterprise and they informed me to go to a firestone and they would take care of it… so I did... now the show is back on the road… a bit delayed, but back none the less. I decided the easiest way to check out the city is through public transportation. I hopped on Trax, Salt Lake’s commuter light rail. The train took me right downtown and dropped me off in front of the gateway. I walked around the Gateway which was pretty much empty due to it being a weekday night. Gateway is much like our Horton plaza, but with an alpine feel to it. Around eight, I decided it was time to take the train back to Murray and head back to my hotel room.

Wednesday (err today!) I woke up and ran to the window, it was supposed to rain last night and secretly (although I knew it wouldn’t ever happen) I was really hoping that just maybe MAYBE! It would have snowed… much to my distaste it was indeed just wet outside so I will just pretend like it snowed and just turned to water over night. This morning I went to school and got to do a lot of new stuff on the router and will hopefully continue doing more stuff tomorrow. Durring lunch I went to Best Buy and bought a camera cable (since I forgot mine and am a bit impatient.) After class I decided to visit park city so I shot straight out hwy 80 once again. After about 30 miles I made it to park city. I was amazed to find out that many of the Olympic events didn’t even happen in Salt Lake City. I was able to go to the Olympic park in park city and walked around a little bit, although I got there a little late so I didn’t really get to check everything out. I made my way down in to park city and walked around for a couple hours checking out all the little art shops and restaurants. After dinner I made my way back to Salt Lake, and was amazed how scary it was to drive in the dark I haven’t driven in an area that dark since I moved from the south. I finally made it hope safe and sound and now here I am writing, wishing my internet worked here . Well I better get ready for bed.

Toasters Work Twice as Well When added to a Bathtub Full of Water!

Ah summer, the birds sing.. Children frolic while laughing and playing, and… what’s this? Tourists. Oh look over there too! These people are EVERYWHERE!! I have quickly realized that dwelling in an urban area geared towards tourists is a full time job, and I hate to tell ya folks… but they don’t pay overtime and I heard the benefits package blows, but I labor endlessly.

My personal favorite job is “Mr. direction man!” This job is always completely out of the blue and the tourist must make sure he/she must ask for the most obscure place or be so completely lost that they are on the wrong side of town facing the wrong direction. When I get asked for directions I must admit it completely throws me off guard. It is somewhat like being asked for time when you have an analog watch that doesn’t have the numbers printed out. “Sorry sir, I’m a moron because I can’t read this watch, please stand there while I count the dots.” I always seem to spew out some directions that can get them to their destination in some type of convoluted way, but I know they will get lost, and they know right away they are wasting both of our time. I personally think it’s a big joke they play to get back at us for being mean to them. >:( I’ll get your tourists!

The next job is sheepherder. It is a scientific fact that when compared to tourists; sheep are considered geniuses. Tourists have this problem when walking and driving where they just constantly stop in odd areas and make sudden turns. they seem to want to walk and stand everywhere. “ohh your walking in front of me.. I suddenly have an overwhelming feeling to just randomly stop and stand here.” The tourists then proceed to let their children reap havoc on the earth while they shop. The little minions of death proceed to constantly run around screaming. The fun doesn’t start until aforementioned tourists decide to get behind the wheel of a car. Some how the car has a magic shield that blinds out all one-way signs and traffic signals. Magically the tourists begin plowing down one way streets going the opposite direction.. They then bravely randomly choose a direction and throw the car left or right down another street not having any clue if that street is also one way or if a car is coming considering traffic signals face THE OPPOSITE DIRECTION! Ohhhh tourists what WON’T you do!!??

As a local the last job I must endure I lovingly named “ALPHA LEADER 5” Although tourists seem to be excessively rude they are really REALLY talented at waiting in a single place. When walking through a four way stop that has stop signs as opposed to traffic signals the tourists stand.. Petrified, unable to move. (I’m wondering if it has to do with the “deer in headlights” syndrome, but I’m still working on that hypothesis.) ALPHA LEADER 5 really works hand in hand with sheepherder because once you bravely traverse that intersection everyone seems to follow you amazed by your leadership qualities. At times I have an overwhelming feeling to just jump out in to moving traffic knowing they will all follow me and die proudly like the little lemmings they are!

I Just Greased up the Bathroom Door Knob and Slipped Some vomit Inducing Liquid in to Your Drink... I'll Start Tazing if any Hits the Floor..... RUN!

Within the year that I have lived here there was a certain point in time that I completely fell head over heels in love with this place… It only took three days of being away from San Diego that I realized exactly how much I indeed did miss a city I call “mine”. I couldn’t imagine living anywhere but here. This brings me to a weird concept, but at what point do you fall in love with an inanimate object? What about this object do you begin loving? This of course is a rhetorical question… don’t expect me to answer it.. I have no clue. I really don’t know what I love most about my area.. The weather.. the beautiful beaches… The weather… weath… er. I could possibly list thousands of things, but I believe after much turmoil I have decided I love the skyline of our downtown more than all other things in my fair city. Every evening I drive home on the same stretch of freeway and each evening I get giddy as I approach the last hill before I enter down town. The neat thing about this hill is that when at the bottom the huge buildings are completely hidden from view… then as you drive up the hill… you can slowly see the spires of buildings appear. It seems like something out of a sci-fi novel, this huge city rising out of the ground. At night this can be down right intimidating these huge buildings rising up from what seems to be the middle of no where and suddenly your big car looks veeeery tiny. After being away finally reaching the downtown streets I became quite giddy and grinned with pure excitement since I was back where the streets make sense, although it seems that most tourists beg to differ. Since all streets are one way downtown it can be quite confusing but for some reason after you drive for a bit you seem to turn down one way streets without even thinking about it… “wow… uhhh that was one way.. how did I know that. Good thing I didn’t go the wrong way”. I took a little walk last night… possibly more of a “stroll” I enjoyed seeing the same people I always see, familiar faces I suppose. For some reason it’s comforting to see certain homeless people I give odd names to. After visiting San Francisco, the homeless seem quite uneventful in my city all of the sudden. Sure, I will be the first to admit that I had an amazing time in San Fran but am defiantly more than happy to be home.

On the trip home I was also reminded why I love the state of California. People here seem to ALWAYS talk about flying to so and so or going over seas because there “isn’t anything interesting in California” I have to say before I do too much flying over seas I will defiantly take the time to explore this state. This place is simply remarkable; First the sheer volume of the state is unimaginable. I drove for 9 hours a 80mph and still only conquered half of the state. Within the 3 days I was away I went from pure skin burning desert, to massive lakes. I saw massive lakes to beautiful mountains, from beautiful mountains to gigantic cities surrounded by large bodies of water. I went from the cities, to visit the world’s largest trees down through gorgeous tropical beaches. I heard waterfalls, saw sand storms, and ate some of the best fortune cookies a dollar could buy. Mind you I was only on the south western half of the state.

Well I am off for the evening. Thanks for READING!

So There I was Staring at this Horrible Monstrosity.. I was Sure to be Eaten... Then I Realized I Made a Wrong Turn in to the Weight Watchers Meeting

One year…. A whole 365 days ago at this moment I was a passenger in my best friends car. I was looking out the window watching the trees go by on the freeway… At exactly this minute we were probably passing by slidell or going over the twinspan bridge making our way in to New Orleans. I remember my heart beating, I remember being terrified, everything inside told me to run back to where I was comfortable. After saying my tearful goodbyes and looking around to places I possibily wouldn’t ever see again I boarded a plane and left. I looked out the window of the plane and said goodbye. I proceeded to turn on my xm radio and try to relax by listening to some music.

When I got to San Diego I was a mess, I remember abusing sleeping pills just trying to get my mind to shut up so I could sleep. I slipped in to a bit of depression and just simply shell shock of being somewhere new. I felt like I didn’t belong, I felt alone. I wanted to leave and to back to the simple life, but something told me to stay and see where I can go. I remember doing chores for my grandpa; I made a whole $200.00 a month, which covered the minimum payment on my credit cards. I felt like a failure and wanted to cry due to tech jobs being incredibly hard to attain. I was a mess, not confident, not happy just a mess.

Jump forward.. only 365 days.. a little blip in the whole scheme of things. In 365 little days I have grown more than I could have ever imagined. If I met myself a year ago I would have not even noticed myself. Once introduced to myself I would have been ashamed by where I was and who I was. Doctor Seuss says it best: “oh the places you’ll go” it’s just incredible.

Today I couldn’t be happier… I’m home! I love my home! I could not ever imagine living anywhere else. I live smack dab in the middle of downtown San Diego. Every day I see the western end of the continental USA. Every day I’m the last person in the Continental USA to see the sun set. Sometimes simple things will remind me where I live, such as being stuck behind a truck on the Freeway that has San Diego written on it. As I read the truck I am struck with this overwhelming feeling of pride… OH YEAH!!! I LIVE HERE!

I have become successful; I would have not EVER imagined the ability to call myself successful at 23. I have become confident in who I am and what I am capable of. I have learned so much and am comfortable with learning more. I am happy for the first time in God knows how long. I realized that happiness is a state of mind… not a feeling. Obtaining happiness is not a day-to-day thing; it’s a change of lifestyle. I’m optimistic and realize this too requires a lifestyle change.

So today is a GREAT day, it’s a one year anniversary of me coming home, growing up, becoming an adult, becoming successful, and who knows what else. Yeay happy anniversary to me!!

I'm not Sure, but it Involves a Spoon, 3 Paperclips, a Drop of Camel Urine, and 12 Non-Alcoholic Beers

* sigh * Another day another dollar. I’m killing time while running a program I wrote that backs up the configuration on all our switches. Watching it is like watching paint dry, although the program was poorly written (your welcome) so it must be watched because sooner or later it will crap out and I will have to restart it.

Living in a large urban area you are met with certain annoyances that come along with every day living. These annoyances are, of course, part of your accepted urban life style but good GOD they are annoying. My one and only annoyance is homeless people, I thought I would take a moment to dedicate a part of my blog to these masters of the concrete since it will obviously make a difference and they (the homeless) will hook up their laptops, to read this in masses they will in turn; write blogs on myspace about how I hurt their feelings…. I’m just speculating.
My letter:

Transients, Homeless, & annoying angsty teens;

Hi! I’m Brian, You know me from my evening daily walks past your multi million dollar portable condos. Since your homeless you should realize that you REALLY have A LOT of time on your hands, maybe you should take some of that time to attempt to do anything besides sleeping. With this time, may I recommend some useful tasks to carry out: 1.) Pick up trash… You collect it anyway, I know all that stuff on your back isn’t from pottery barn, If you are going to spend 24 hours a day walking aimlessly around the city at least make It a clean city. * a site note for the crazy guy with the broom that continuously sweeps the streets and gutters… THANK YOU. 2.) Instead of getting drunk and belligerently yelling, why not read? Park guy and Electra guy read constantly, they don’t beg, they don’t littler… They just like to be left alone and read. Why don’t more of you begin attempting to read things, hell read playboy for all I care just do something rather than rot away. 3.) Work… now there is an IDEA! I’m not saying all of you don’t work I’m just saying the vast majority of you don’t work. Working may help you buy a plane ticket to move elsewhere and GET OFF THE STREET!


If you feel that you MUST sleep the day away there are certain places you shouldn’t sleep. Fire hydrant guy: Stop sleeping in the middle of the sidewalk by the fire hydrant, people cant walk, You smell atrocious, AND you get stepped on. It’s a loose loose situation, sleep at the park under some bushes, out of sight. You can take the bus to balboa and live in the canyon with the rest of the homeless… Just not here!


Begging is a pretty mindless excuse for making money, If you decide you MUST beg here are some ideas that may make your begging experience enjoyable to everyone. STOP BEGGING LOCALS, we have been here… we know your shenanigans, you really are quite invisible to us and your stories really don’t work, we are rather hardened (thanks to you) so anything you could possibly say will not keep me from looking you in the eye and saying; ‘go away’. Locals should have a get out of jail free card by simply stating “I’m a local” your duty as a homeless person (since you are our neighbors in your portable condos) is to leave us alone and keep walking. DON’T stand outside of restaurants and ask for food, Oh GOD I’m going to just go crazy on one of you some day for this. What are the thoughts shooting through your brain when you ask this question? Do you really think I’m going to say “you know what!? I’ll be more than happy to give you this food I just paid for!” NO! Just because I have money doesn’t mean I piss it away, that would be you Mr. homeless man.


As long as we can meet in some sort of happy medium where you go about your daily life and I go about mine, we both go along quietly all will be well. These steps are easy to follow and may force you to make something of your self… You may wake up one morning and realize you are the best damn street sweeper this side of C street! But then again you may wake up and realize that your life is pointless and you may be better off helping out the crab population by depositing yourself on the bottom of the ocean… Both are fine by me! As long as you are quiet about it!

Respectfully Yours,
Brian

Not many people read this so I’m sure everyone that happens across this will appreciate my sarcastic sense of humor, some people may become angry and buy juju dolls while chanting and dancing wishing me to become deaf blind and dumb. I also know the majority of people that read this live in MS and have no idea how annoying homeless people are as well as not getting the C street joke (it was a funny joke).

Ah well It seems as if my program is finished and all the switches are backed up… It looks like it’s back to work for me.

The Nutritional Values of Fecal Matter..

After thinking about what I need to buy for groceries today I realized that Americans have a huge problem plaguing them today…. We have too many damn choices. I may sound like a freaking kook at this point but bare with me for a second. When I lived in the south I shopped at super wal*mart and always wondered why in the world every time I shopped I couldn’t leave the store without spending less than 50.00 for food. To many individuals; 50.00 a week for food may not be that much, but if you’re a single person spending 200.00 a month in food you need to take a long hard look at your expenses. Now that I live alone once again I take the time to buy my own food, except in SoCal there is no such thing as a super wal*mart in a 150 mile radius. Local wal*mart stores sell food but not in nearly the same quantities as the ones in Mississippi. I have realized that by having fewer choices in the amount of food I buy, I do indeed buy less food. Through fewer choices I have found that I really don’t NEED certain things and the basic foods WILL do just fine no matter what the experts may tell you. I have found that I spend 25-30 dollars a week less… Whoopy freakin doooo!!! Right? Wrong… I found that I save 1200.00 a year by simply having fewer choices, these things that I obviously didn’t ever need… I was just told that I needed these things and as a good citizen followed through with purchasing them. This subject is… of course… touchy, I don’t believe we really like to think about what we NEED and don’t NEED we take for granted the society we live in and continuously rape any resource we can find. By chance if you still don’t believe me, take a stroll down the salad dressing isle at the super market and let me know how many choices you have.